Regarding to these “reactions to Chris Brown at the Grammys..”

I’m finding it a little upsetting how people are being toward the women/girls/others who are making the comments about “Chris Brown can beat me any day.” Of course, these statements are extremely problematic on their own and very disrespectful toward victims of domestic abuse. I can’t fathom why anyone would think such statements are acceptable.

With that being said, I think peoples’ reactions to these statements are far more telling as to how steeped in the patriarchy our culture is. We live in a society where, when a man beats his wife/girlfriend (or other instances of domestic violence occur) we are told there are “two sides to every story” or “it takes two to tango.” We’re told that if you’re a nice girl, if you sit down and shut up and don’t be a slut or a bitch, these things won’t happen to you. Violence is bad and all, but it really only happens to people who kinda-sorta-basically deserve it anyway. We are told that everyone deserves a second chance.

We are inundated with messages about how no matter what, being with a man of status is the most important thing — and the fact that Chris Brown is “talented” (and famous and rich) makes up for the fact he has a history of violence. 

We are told Chris Brown can say he’s sorry and be accepted with open arms. That he is “SO HOT.” That we should do anything, put up with anything to stay with a man if he can provide certain things for us. These are the messages we experience EVERY DAY.

This is a classic example of our society telling women to act a certain way, believe certain things but then shaming them for acting upon it.

I am SO SICK of women being called “stupid” and demeaned every day for simply doing and being what we are told to do and be by this society.

I am so sick of it.

Feb 13. 3 Notes.

Notes

  1. neonspandex said: EXACTLY THIS. you are 100% right. the girls are not the problem.
  2. aegansley posted this